#sexy pigeon band

[constructbreakdown]

I miss the 90's --- I miss my childhood

I miss my innocence.

[mrsarnasdelicious]

Alright, Yous asked for this - PART TWO

So, the list of all my drafts doesn't fit in one part...

Riding the Beasts SCP 682 smut CW: Monsterfucking

Sihtric AU-arama Just all osrts of Sihtric AUs, in a long, big list.

Some good ass edging Edging Modern!Sihtric, straight up smut

I'll Be Your Prize [Finan x Sihtric] Uhtred tells Finan he can ask for the thing he wants most, so Finan asks for Sihtric.

The Things We Do With Power - I The Boys fic, mild fix it, predominantly wicked smut.

A very old promise Once Upon the beginning of my blog, I promised to write a certain poly smut thing, so here goes nothing.

All About A Gag Sihtric x Finan x Osfert. Sihtric fakes a gag and Finan is not having it.

Domestic - Lan Mandragoran Lan x Reader, being cute.

One Big Bed Poly Wheel of Time smut. Rand is a slut in this one.

The Pantsident Mark tore his pants. Mark x Reader smut

A Long Drive [Marnas] Mark rips his pants and Arnas makes full use of the situation.

Orgasm Desperation - Stephen Colley Stephen x Reader, with reader making Stephen beg for it.

BoB Sexarama Shameless, plotless smut headcanons.

A3 - Throuple Aethelflead x Aldhelm x Aethelred headcanons

BoB Poly Family BS You get involved with Finan, Sihtric and Osferth and raise children with them. Modern verse, headcanon list

Band of Bebbanburgh - XII - Getting Ink Done Uhtred, Osferth, Finan and Sihtric are getting tatted and Sihtric likes it a bit too well.

First Kiss - Draco Malfoy Set during book six.

First Kiss - Eric Northman Simple as.

Basically every thought I have ever had about Sihtric, but in a pile Full ass headcanon dump on my very fav himbo.

Good Good Good, Good Vibrations Mr F uses a vibe on reader, in public, sorta.

Orgasm Desperation - Game!Lambert Needy Needy Lambertini.

Lambert in the Middle Lambert getting some DP from Eskel and Geralt.

Another Lovely Puppy Pile Reader x Many witchers (and Jaskier)

Band of Bebbanburgh - XI - Tetanus Uhtred 'challenges' Sihtric to catch a pigeon. Hoemboy gets pecked and scratched, but has no tetnaus immunisation, so Finan and Osferth have to wrangle him to go to the dco's. Sihtirc does not like doctors and has to be pacified with sexy times from his boyfriends.

Giving Birth to Sihtric's Child It is not reader's first and it will most certainly not be the last.

TLK Underworld AU Headcanon List about a mafia au of sorts

Finan Eating You Out He's good with his mouth, let's be real

How He Met Me - VI August POV version of The Prophet [fic]

At the Desk - Napoleon Solo Napoleon Solo fucking reader on her desk, Arranged Marriage verse.

Sex in the Changing Room - Modern!Sihtric Raunchy dirty naughty Sihtric fucking reader in the changing rooms of the local clothing store.

On the table - Sihtric Canon verse, he humps you on the table

Sex in the Bath - Captain Syverson Bath sex with Sy

Ever Curiouser - I Hellboy Longfic, polyship.

Some Bebbanboys smut, bc I am nasty Smutty stuff with Sihtric x Finan x Osferth

Ben Daimio x Werewolf Reader A beastly smut

The Bebbanboys Band AU headcanons

Ben Daimio - Sneaking Around Smutty, you and Ben avoid getting caught while fucking on the job

Sweetheart Prompt #3 Ivar Lothbrok, suprise surprise

Band of Bebbanburgh - X - What Sihtric Does Best Smut fest about Sihtric sucking dick

Ulysses Klaue Smut Does exactly what it says on the tin.

No Way We Are Making Homework - Modern Ubbe Modern Ubbe x Reader. You should be making homework, but you are not.

Nasty Nasty Dirty Gross Ubbe CW: Incest Ubbe uses one specific way of making Hvitserk listen.

Ubbe x Alfred - Modern AU Ubbe and Alfred shower together.

This Home I Built - TLK Poly Fest Selfish fix it fic, lotsa smut, mainly about Sihtric.

Santiago Garcia Breeding Kink V1 Santi knocking you up.

Alpha Geralt Going Feral Nasty smut with no excuses

Sihtric - Breeding Kink V1 Sihtric knocking you up

Omega Sihtric Going Feral Needy Omega Sihtric

Alpha Geralt Scenting You Scenting sesh getting out of hand.

Santiago Garcia - Rough Sex Ah yes, more shameless porn with no plot.

Scenting Omega Sihtric Scenting Omega Sihtric gets out of hand.

My Fair Lady Shameless Aldflaed smut

Expectations - Loki Shameless Loki smut

Choking Sam Winchester Reader applying some pressure to a big moose, sexually.

At Saltwick What happened between Sihtric, Finan and Osferth while the kids were asleep.

Sex in Public - Sihtric Canon verse.

Neteyam x Au'Nung Neteyam almost died and Au'Nung is distressed.

Proof That I am an Aweful Person [TLK Poly stuff] More ReaderxPretty Boys headcanons

Fjall Stoneheart - Doggystyle Shameless smut

Band of Bebbanburgh - IX - Seeking Refuge Osferth goes to Finan when his homelife starts turning for the worst.

Breeding V1 - Jake Sully Jake Sully knocking you up.

Band of Bebbanburgh - VIII - Show You How Sihtric teases Osferth how to please Finan

Band of Bebbanburgh - VII - Small Comforts Finan having himself a slice of Sihtric.

Band of Bebbanburgh - VI - Sihtric's Dream Sihtric wakes up from a bad dream and Finan and Osferth put him at ease.

By God(s) and Men - Finan x Sihtric Canon verse; Sihtric and Finan figure out their dynamic.

The Baker's Boy - Finan x Sihtric Modern AU; Finan just realised he's been in love with Sihtric all along.

The Witan - Mark/Arnas/Reader CW: RPF and RPS Established Arnas x Reader and Past Marnas. Arnas convinced reader to come along to a TLK cast vaca and things spin swiftly out on his control.

All Three of Them Reader x Sihtric x Finan x Osferth smut

Threesome with Sihtric and Osferth Shameless smut with a lil twist

Threesome with Sihtric and Finan Dirty smutty smut smut smut

[themculibrary]

Steve Rogers + Polyamory Pairings Masterlist

add fletching for stability (ao3) - sam_gamgee clint/phil/steve E, 31k

Summary: While biding his time waiting for Coulson to come home, Clint is surprised to find himself striking up a closer relationship with Steve. Much to Steve’s surprise, neither of them have plans for letting him go.

Agent Aw No (ao3) - flawedamythyst bucky/clint/steve/tony M, 20k

Summary: It’s not until they’ve been together nearly two years that Clint realises there are cracks in the relationship that they’ve all just been ignoring, and that even the epic amount of cuddling they do doesn’t seem to be fixing.

An Intervention (ao3) - Anonymous steve/natasha/sam E, 2k

Summary: Steve, in his unyielding attempt to get Bucky back, has run them ragged. Now, Sam and Nat strike back - in the sexy way.

a pretty boy with a bird tattoo (ao3) - Kryptaria, zooeyscigar bucky/steve/natasha E, 100k

Summary: Bucky Barnes is the wholesome, handsome boy next door, complete with the engineering major and the beloved younger sister (or three).

Steve Rogers is the punk artist loner with an unkindness on his arm and a never-ending fight against the world. His best friend, Natasha, is best left unmentioned, though there are rumors that if you kiss the Black Widow’s spider, she’ll give you a tattoo for free. But she never said where or what.

They shouldn’t work together, until they do.

Bad Boys Do It Well (ao3) - Miss_Von_Cheese bucky/steve/thor E, 7k

Summary: Thor and Bucky are both in love with Steve, the lead singer of their band. Steve just can’t choose between them. Sometimes music is the best way to talk about one’s feelings…

Catching Feelings (ao3) - haveufoundwhaturlookingfor bucky/clint/steve N/R, 3k

Summary: Clint thought that he would be okay when Bucky came back, and he and Steve started spending more time together, because he understood that Bucky was Steve’s best friend from the past. Then, the two started getting closer and Clint feels left out, and worries that Steve will leave him to be with Bucky, so he starts distancing himself from his boyfriend to avoid conflict.

Comparative Pest Control Methodology (ao3) - adi_rotynd bucky/steve/natasha/sam G, 16k

Summary: Sam Wilson joins a totally normal, totally sensible pigeon club. (The Greendale Seven beg to differ.) This hobby is none of the other Avengers's business. (Steve, Bucky, and Natasha beg to differ.)

daddy’s here (ao3) - MoMoMomma phil/steve/tony M, 3k

Summary: There were things you didn’t talk about, you bottled them up, swallowed them down and trudged on. Steve’s never been one to do exactly as told. So he finds release from his problems in his Daddy. Now he’s in the future and Daddy’s gone.

But luckily for him, Tony’s more than willing to share.

Deep Freeze (ao3) - Kadorienne bucky/loki/steve E, 198k

Summary: As atonement for his crimes against Midgard, Loki is sentenced to fight alongside the Avengers. In time he finds love with Steve Rogers, but then Steve’s first love, Bucky Barnes, returns from the dead. The solution is something he hadn’t dared to hope for.

devils and heathens (ao3) - copperbadge bucky/peggy/steve E, 9k

Summary: Peggy Carter didn’t go looking for trouble, or Bucky Barnes, or a threesome. Sometimes these things just find you.

Everything She Didn’t Know She Wanted(ao3) - bluecurls bucky/darcy/steve E, 137k

Summary: Knowing she had two soulmates comforted Darcy Lewis during the toughest moments of her life.

Then she met them.

How to Form a Family in Four Easy Steps (ao3) - malevolentmango bucky/steve/tony/sam M, 9k

Summary: It took nearly 100 years, a few wars (both World and Civil), and no small amount of confusion for “Steve and Bucky” to become “Steve and Bucky and Tony and Sam,” but they got there eventually.

One Last Hallelujah (ao3) - KandiSheek bucky/steve/tony M, 9k

Summary: Tony was prepared to do whatever it takes to right the wrongs in this world. But when he pays the highest price that life could ask of him his mates aren’t going to let him slip away that easily.

Quadrant (ao3) - AvaKelly clint/steve/bucky/sam E, 7k

Summary: In a world where loving someone causes their unique soulmark tattoo to appear on his skin, Clint has been falling for too many people, but never has been loved back. So when he sees his mark on Bucky’s shoulder, he can’t really believe it.

run, run, run (to your grave) (ao3) - oh_no_oh_dear steve/sam/bucky E, 23k

Summary: The intel? Sketchy. The trio? Exhausted. Hotel? Definitely not Trivago. Sam Wilson is on the hunt for the other Winter Soldiers, but somewhere between making tea and outmanoeuvring evil assassins, he finds time to fall in love. Sam Wilson is the ultimate multitasker.

Six Times Steve Felt Out of Place and Two Times He Didn’t (ao3) - Mikey (mikes_grrl) phil/steve/clint E, 10k

Summary: While things have changed a lot for omegas in 70+ years, one thing society can’t abide is an unbonded omega in a position of leadership. To keep Steve on the Avengers, Alpha Phil Coulson steps up and offers to make Steve his second omega. No one is really happy about it, least of all Steve, who has always had the habit of wanting exactly what he can’t really have.

Space is for the birds (ao3) - hopelessly_me bucky/clint/steve T, 3k

Summary: Clint gets elected by Tony to travel to space with him to repair a spaceship, and all Clint wants to do is get back home to Bucky and Steve.

storm (ao3) - MoreThanSlightly (cadignan) bucky/peggy/steve E, 10k

Summary: “Perhaps you’re worth the trouble after all,” Peggy tells Bucky, and he grins. They’ve developed a cautious, teasing relationship. Steve is absurdly grateful that they tolerate each other at all. He fantasizes, sometimes, that they might even like each other in the same way that he likes—

“God, Sergeant Barnes, if this place has hot water, I’ll kiss you.”

Take Me To Emotion, I Want To Go All The Way (ao3) - ElizabethOlsenIsMySpiritAnimal wanda/natasha/steve E, 4k

Summary: In the aftermath of the Ultron Offensive, Steve’s desire to have a family and a normal life comes to the surface, putting a new spin on his relationship with Natasha. At the same time, Wanda’s feelings for Steve and Natasha come to light, leading to them coming together, in more ways than one.

That’s My Man (ao3) - ACometAppears bucky/natasha/steve M, 3k

Summary: In 1941, Steve begs Bucky to help him get fighting fit so he can enlist.

In 2015, Steve orders something from the Avengers R&D department that Natasha delivers to him.

that’s what you get for dreaming aloud (ao3) - oh_no_oh_dear steve/sam/bucky E, 80k

Summary: Steve likes Bucky (duh.) Bucky likes Steve (double-duh.) Sam likes Steve (kinda duh.) Steve likes Sam (who wouldn't?) Bucky likes Sam (wat)

Sam...likes Bucky? (stop the madness)

The slowest of slow burns. Occasional angst. Much kissing ensues. Maybe more also ensues.

This Mess We Made (ao3) - haveufoundwhaturlookingfor clint/steve/tony N/R, 2k

Summary: Clint is pregnant when Tony and Steve start arguing about the accords, but he doesn’t get the chance to tell either of them because he’s pushed off to the side. Things get worse when the Avengers have to go into hiding, and Natasha starts worrying about Clint and the pregnancy.

[slackville-records]

"Bonnie Raitt playing at the New Orleans Jazz Fest,1977

For many people, the eclectic nature of Raitt’s music over the years remains one of her major attractions. Although primarily an interpreter of other people’s music, it is her desire to dabble in different styles – blues, country, soul, rock’n’roll, you name it – that has made her such an engaging artist. And it all began way back in the early 70s when she released her debut album.

“In the early days a lot of people said it was a problem because you couldn’t pigeon-hole me,” she laughs. “They said I should stick to one kind of music. I appreciate that people do get like that. It took a while. Nick Of Time features the same kind of material as I had on my first album, but after twenty years people thought it was a worthwhile thing to be eclectic, so I’m proud to have people like it. I would get bored doing just one style.

“I always thought it was a strong point, myself,” she adds. “And I couldn’t change it even if I tried. So I just make records for my peers, my fans and me. Sometimes the critics get it, sometimes they don’t.”

Despite Raitt’s wide-ranging interests, there are common musical themes running through her music,

“Rhythm and blues, and the blues itself,” she notes. “I tend to like the funkier aspect of it. Even Ray Charles’s interpretation of country music always appealed to me. That’s my first love.”

Raitt was also attracted to the rebellious aspect of the early days of rock’n’roll.

“I suppose I was too young to admit that I knew what sex was, but that’s the reason people across the world fell in love with Elvis Presley and Chuck Berry,” she smiles. “And it’s why, in the early part of the twentieth century, my grandparents were angry with my folks for liking big-band and swing.

“My piano player told me that hundreds of years ago the raised fifth was the Devil’s note. The seventh chord was illegal and religious leaders outlawed it in church music. I had no idea that the Devil’s music went back that far. But then I got to know about all those pentatonic [consisting of five notes] Arabic scales that float through flamenco and gypsy music and Celtic music, and all of that stuff that came from India and Africa. That kind of music is so soulful, mournful, lonely, sexy and erotic. So all of the darker, exciting, juicy emotions come out from the emotions that the blues is calling back."

Jerry Ewing / Classic rock

Photo by Chuck Fishman/Getty Images

[sockatoothewafflebird]

OH OH I JUST DISCOVERED AN AMAZING BAND/ARTIST. PLEASE CHECK OUT SEXY PIGEON.

they have the BEST "driving at night in the middle of nowhere and being able to see the stars" vibe. i hear one of their songs and it makes me happy. it's such a vibe please please please give more attention to Sexy Pigeon

[delphinidin4]

Here's something I have learned from aging in our society (and I'm only in my 30s!):

People don't Get Like That because they're old. We slowly begin to get left behind by technological innovations and societal changes because things seem to change faster and faster as you get older, and you're not hanging out with young people enough anymore to be changing along with them, and why tf would I want to replace my tape deck I've had for 20 years that still plays my entire collection of tapes? I don't CARE that you have a new CD player, that would require me to completely replace my collection of cassette tapes and I simply can't be bothered, even if you think it's annoying to rewind tapes when you're done with them. No, I don't know anything about YouTube, because I am still capable of amusing myself by sitting quietly and knitting and I don't need a million screens. I've been doing it since I was your age, so why would I stop now? It's a combination of being content with what you've got and not keeping up with the trends, partly because you just DO NOT CARE.

When I was young, I could NOT figure out how my grandparents lived without a VCR. Now I'm trying to figure out how to explain to younger people that not only do I not HAVE the tiktok app, I don't WANT the tiktok app, and have no USE for the tiktok app. I see stuff about tiktok trends, and instead of feeling left out, I feel amused, and then grateful that I'm not being pulled hither and yon by fleeting trends anymore.

As you age, your relationship to time changes DRAMATICALLY. And since fashions and trends are all about eras, your relationship to those changes, too.

ALL THIS TO SAY:

If I was a vampire and had lived THAT MANY CENTURIES and had had my relationship to time changed THAT MUCH, I would probably be out here in 2024 listening to my favorite music on wax-cylinder phonographs and mourning the loss of the silent film. I would have embraced more advanced playback technology only when my favorite pre-code Hollywood films were now available for viewing again (I would be so excited about that). I would still think that the pigeon-breast silhouette was sexy. I would've gotten into big band music because of a person I was dating in the 1940s who was really into it, and I would roll my eyes every time somebody called it "oldies". I would refuse to believe that the 1980s were already 40 years ago, that 40 years was at ALL a long time, or that things from the 80s could POSSIBY be called "vintage". I would not recognize the names of basically ANY popular actors or singers since the 1950s, and I'd be pretty spotty with my knowledge of those. Because honestly, the 1700s WASN'T that long ago if I can still remember it so clearly, and why TF would I want to change all my music over to a new technology AGAIN, since they only stay in use for like 20 years? You said CDs were going to be the recording medium of the future! Look at them now!!!!

suggestion: vampire characters who actually act their age

[maskymoo]

I never knew Sexy Pigeon could be a band song, but here we are now. They got great music though so I can't complain.

[rawrmeansilyindinosawr]

I WANT ELLI0T PG 2 PURSU3 MOI BOTTOM HALF CUZ MOI DAD DIED

SUUUPPPPPppPPpppPPPP H0MEZZ n THEYZ N ITZ N HE HIMZ.. dissh week has been SPRING BREAK n it GOTzz meh missin vanessa hudgenzz N moi 12 YR OLD SPIRAL / ADDICTION when Her sMHExyy nudes got l33ked . but als0 that era cuz obvvv. i DO NOT mean 2 sound lik a pervert butt my best fwend defzz has been dressin ALOT lik minni3 m0use but the sexy version w n0 gloves n no bra no panties n Holes EXposed. ... . . .

i luv having SHARED SOCIAL ANXIETY b4 a bday partyyyY so we all sit on thA Stoop A Block away from the actual club venuee the bdAY partyzz at n do K n contemplate the nxt step /nxtt club hOp n blah blah blah wee wanna avoid takin a car w some randozz at tha other 1 cuz meh. SHARED SOCIAL ANXIETY... WE R ALL CONNECTED IN THE URETHA OF A UNIVERSAL VAGINA MONOLOGUE ... speaking of Daatttt i LUV POETRY READINGZZ at my grASSy KNOLL w sexy weed tht i KANT smoke cuz thts GONNA GIBB MEH AN ANXIETY ATTACK but dere is DEFZZ sum sexy moss from KATE MOSS QUEEN.. n being fahsionablyy l8 to it cuz u were lowkeY maybE highkey having sex for the 5th time in a row in just a day . I LOVE RICE WITH PIGEON PEAZ. N SPAM. ;D

iyam running out of KEWPIE MAYONAOUSE n i am ALSO running out of moi h0use in the name of FAMILY N FRIENDSHIP N COMMUNITYYyyy JUST 2 Make Sure I show support down tha bl0ck to moi fwenddd speakin at purgatory n when i runningg up tha stairs they hear moi runningg up tha stairss in moi platformzz n tell every1 on stage they hear meh by my loud big shoes cuz moi shoes r as big as the size of moi COCK 8=D . n i unintentionally meet someone moi partner asked out on a date twice n got NO both of those timez.. ;]

my TOes n neck n back crack every hour N I dink it meanzz im lik anemic and also hot n sexy cuzz i DOLLZKILLL COMMENTED ON MOI IG PIC OF MEH GOIN VROOM VROOM IN A SHMEXY RED N BLACK [MOI COLORZZ] UBER OMWW 2 A LEASING OFFICE MGMTT COMPANY IN BK WHEERE A HATIAN WOMAN SLUT SHAMED MEH 4 WEARIN LEGGINGS AS A SHIRT N MY NIPPLE PIERCING NIPPLES WERE EXPOSEDDD. but DOLLZKILL WERE LYKEE ASKIN FOR MEH TO PICK THEM UP . LIKE OMFGGGGG.. . .. ask meh 2 ModEL for u IN CALI OR SOMETHING SO I KAN FINALLY B FAMOUS N LIVE OUT MOI 10TH HOUSE FAME N POWER N INFLUENCEEEEEEEE.

i luv GOIN ALL DA WAY TO STATEN ISLAND 2 C INDONESIAN BAND PLAY DRUMZ WITH SWISS CHEEZE SYMBALSS. ;] dating a pisces is cray cuz they cRY rite when they wake up n rite after sexx n rite when u mak them coffee in da morningzz cuz they r BBYZZZZZZZ ;D

gODDDD I RLY WANNA TRAVEL ALREADYY N MAKE UP MOI MIND AB MOI CAREERR CUZZ honestly GETTIN BANNED OFF LEX TWO DAYZZ AGO WUZ KINDA THA PEAK OF MOI EXISTENCE . I Hav nVr gotten bANNED b4 but i mean tha last 2-3 reports i had on mOI account were COMPLetely normal in moi opinion i dink it defzz just wuz lik a miscommunication ab mEH wanting to throw handzz n fight this stupid bitch from henrietta hudson , explaining dat i YAM da plug with a sweet potato yam emoji , n als0 wanting 2 start a support group kalled TboyHorsedicktrauma support group 101 . iDK why ppl think im such a threat. i just look mean but im uwu BABY AF...

i luvv plannin 2 fuck at a public playground n then moi planzz fallin thru cus there 2 many KIDDOZZ out so i buy 8 dollarr cup of coffee then uber 2 moi best fwendzz rooftop to just hav seggs there in a slutty sailor outfit . ;] i THINK moi heart is also growing more n more for kuromi as i accumulate more n more thingzz of her now esp cuz i hav a baby wipe make up wipe case of HEr, more socks , a sweater hand made of her face via eyelits n safety pinzz n spikes n studzz n i actually realized i DO likee working in an office w 3 earth signs n a dog n 1 of those earth signs is also a life coach who also speaks ab body positivity [ always makes comments ab my 'petite frame and long legs'] but fat shames herself n shelly duvall n also spendzz alot of time investigating if ariana grande is actually anoreixicc. MUYYY INTERESANTEEEE N TRIGGERING LOL ;D

ITS ALMOST MERCURYRETROGRADE N I HOPE MY EX'S CUM BACK 2 MEH . WELL NOT AL LLL. just one that blocked meh in january thtt wusnt rly moi ex just a situationship that actually damaged my mental health a lot N HAD meh Convinecdd I HAD a p3RSONAality disorder but nO im just chariasmatic n LIke to feed into my partners keyboard typing fast kink.

I WISH I CULD FALL INTO A PUDDLE N NVR HAV TO GET UPP CUZ IM SO TIRED N SLEEPYY N BORED CUZ IM COMIN OFF OF A MDMA MOLLYYYYYYYY I SHULDNT HAV TAKEN I SHULD HAV KEPT CUZ IM SELLIN DEM N U DONT GET HI OFF UR OWN SUPPLY DATZ WHUT IT SAYS IN CRACK AMENDMENTZZ 101 ;[ i h8 being financially abused n then crying ab it while eating chiggen skewerzz n pad thai at klom klorm. i luv being a brat n also singing rly rly rly rly rly rly rly loud in my bedroom floor while making the bushwick version of goodnite moon w patchwork quilt fleece tht keeps faling aaprt actually cuz i didnt hav anymore glue sticks for the hot glu gun then it just rly all fell apart n it looked ugly n defz wuz not tha type of gift i wanted 2 giv out n also hav it b seen as something i believ kan be representative at all of moi as an artist or somethang. ;[

i stg if moi crushess dont get back 2 meh in a more timely mannner n actually wanna go on datez then ima hit up the trak teeam that came over the other week 2 Tylerz n ask them to take off their shirts for meh while they sweat in their david bowie clown make up n then talk ab giving each other orgiezz n accusing meh of being a lesbian which is not an accusation at AALLLLZZZZ.

im NOT CUNT AS MUCH AS I WANT 2 B CUZ IM INSECURE N SAD N KIND OF LIK THE EQUIVALENT TO A JELO GELATIN . BUT i luv u all n i need hugs cuz this mdma made meh throw up after seeing a musician at SOBS play the flute . im sad af but at least i took slutty pix in applebeezz N made a bonfire after asking strangerzz 4 they fire starter with puppydogeyezz n a pudding cup.!!:3

luv u

rennyxcx [ like charli but renny bc im obsessed n my hyperfixation on unlock it by charlixcx has been an autistic obsession the last 4 months also with soundcloud . DUH ]

[introvertedexhuastedpigeon]

guyss they named a band after me

[oneiro-nautical]

Listened to my new favourite band Sexy Pigeon

What music should I listen to while making birthday mashed potatoes 🎶🥔

[constructbreakdown]

Alien Jams 5

[burntmcnuggies]

Hi! Can i request a hawks x fem! reader where hawks kind of has bird-like tendencies? She’s pretty good friends with him, and sometimes he whistles and stuff when she’s around (like a mating call/song) and one time she was talking to another pro hero and hawks gets jealous (but it’s his bird side so he can’t control it) and his wings puff up and stretch out as a show of dominance or something. And they get really bright too! The media reports the event and he confesses how he feels 🥺 tysm!

Of course! 🥺

I’m so happy to have actually gotten a request!! This is actually my... fourth Hawks story? And I feel I’m getting better at his personality! If any of you have constructive criticism I’m all ears! Ready to improve! I tend to over study characters before I write them so I have a good understand to deliver the best for everyone! :D

I wasn’t sure if you wanted smut or fluff... so I did both! A wholesome pure one and a spicy sexy one!

I really hope you enjoy this! ❤️

Both stories are almost exactly the same except for the ending, so in the end if you want smut, go to the NSFW one! 18+ only please! :)

➪ NSFW <3

Jealous Bird (Fluff)

Warnings: strong language, suggestive themes towards breeding, and that’s it!

“Mornin’ chicken wing. What’re we doin’ for breakfast? I paid last time so this is allll on you.” Hawks sent a playful wink towards you as he landed beside you from his previous place in the air, holding his hand up and rubbing his index and thumb together as a sign he wanted you to pay. You rolled your eyes and rose your hand, mocking him. “Don’t forget who spent hours doing YOUR paperwork because a certain birdbrain was too lazy to do it.” Hawks held up his hands in defeat and slumped over, sticking out his bottom lip, over exaggerating his facial expressions. He whined and let his wings droop. “C’mon just one more time? Pretty please with your favorite pretty bird on top?”

“Stop dragging your wings, you’re gonna get them dirty.” You scolded and pat his back, slightly feeling how tense his shoulders were. You were about to offer to give him a massage later, not wanting your friend to have to sleep tonight with stiff muscles until you noticed something. His wings were almost glowing a whole new shade now. Such a vibrant and beautiful color. It was then realizing how close you were that you could hear a faint cooing bubbling from his throat. “...? The fuck are you doing Hawks?” He looked over confused and tilted his head. You grumbled at his lack of knowing exactly what he was doing. “Do you even have complete control over your body? You don’t even realize you’re whistling and cooing like some pigeon.”

You completely missed the pissed off look that crossed his face at your comment. He plastered on a cheeky smile and put his hands behind his back, picking his wings off the ground and tucking them firmly behind his back. “Nah, sometimes my bird-side comes out, especially during spring. God I go fuckin’ crazy. Sometimes it’s early and i have to take a whole week off a work!” You looked up to a couple trees you both passed while you were walking to your usual breakfast place, KFC —Although you always argue you want to go somewhere else. It was late winter, very close to spring, about March. You never kept up with the date. “Why do you take a whole week off?”

“Animal Mutant types like me would understand. Just like Mirko! Haha, I’m sure she’s the worst right now bein’ it’s early March!” He laughed and put his hands out, his hands snaking into his pockets to firmly stick there once more. You pouted, wanting to know exactly what Hawks was talking about. You told Hawks everything, but he didn’t give you the same treatment. “I’ll just ask Mirko later then if you refuse to tell me.” Hawks quickly wagged his finger side to side in front of your face, his other hand being placed on his hip now. You were familiar with his body language and how much he loved using his hands. “Nah ah, chicken wing. You do that and she’s gonna pounce on you. You won’t see light for days!”

“Mirko has accidentally jumped on me before, it’s not like we haven’t sparred before! I can withstand some punches and kicks!” Hawks sulked again, his hands digging back into his pockets, displaying his annoyance that you weren’t listening to him. He just looked away and shrugged his shoulders back. “Just trust me, kiddo. It’d be for the best you didn’ see Mirko, especially at a time like this. I know how she feels.” You were starting to get irritated at his lack of response to your question, only dodging it and making you sit in suspense. Finally you gave up and decided to bring it back up later. “I’m just gonna stop asking, you’re obviously not gonna answer me are you?”

“Haha! Nope! You know me too well, (Y/N).” You both arrived at KFC, immediately greeted by the manager and many of Hawks’ fans who knew he came there a lot. Many asked for his autograph or a selfie, but he refused politely. “I’ll do some after I get some chicken! I’m starved!” Super fans offered to even pay for his food, to which he declined, saying that you were kind enough to have already offered to pay for his food. A total fat lie! He begged you to pay! You sent him a glare and proceeded just to order both your meals while Hawks spoke with his fans. “Well, guess I can start then! Who’s first?” After he saw you were paying and ordering, he began to sign autographs and take selfies that would no doubt be on social media in minutes.

“Man! I sure do have a lot of supportive and loyal fans! Must suck never bein’ noticed.” Hawks passively insulted your rank as a pro hero by taking a jab at your ranking. You were somewhere in the mid thirties. Not popular at all, especially in this part of Japan where Hawks was born. “At least I have fans who aren’t thirsty for me! People who don’t dream of kissing me so passionately and marrying me.” You smirked and rose your hands shrugging your shoulders, before hugging yourself. You bit your lip, closing your eyes and squirming with a dreamy smile, mocking his thirsty fan girls. “Oh Hawks! Please marry me... I love you so much. Kiss me... let’s start a family, and be the happiest couple ever~”

You didn’t notice the way his wings trembled and his face reddened, his avian eyes widening as he watched you speak in such a way. He shook it off quickly before he got out of control and leaned forward towards you smirking. “At least I have fans cravin’ me~ haven’t heard of anyone wantin’ your boring ass!” He gave a closed eye smile and brought his hands up to give you a big fat thumbs down. Your eye twitched and you remained silent, not having a comment. That was until you remembered a villain hitting on you not too long ago. “Well at least I’ve had a villain fawn over me! I can still remember it clearly! ‘Oh fuck, I would turn good to get a piece of that ass!’”

This time you noticed how his brows furrowed, and his wings fluffed up, almost as if he just had a whole shiver rake through his body. “When was this?” He asked, his head now resting in his right hand, staring intently. You thought about it for a minute, before taking a wild guess. “Ehh, about like a couple months ago.” This only put him in a more sour mood. You didn’t understand why he was acting so strange. Maybe it was what you talked about? Obviously you’d never talked about anything romantic with Hawks, but on the topic of thirty fans want for him, you wanted to make jokes since he was always mocking you and making sly insults. “Sorry... I didn’t mean to make things awkward.”

“Nah, it’s fine. It’s not your fault. Well... it kinda is.” He admitted afterwards and smirked at you teasingly as if you would already know it was your fault. You frowned, about to open your mouth again before they called your number to get your food. You sighed and stood from your seat, walking over to the counter and retrieving the food, however, you were stopped by a man. He was young, about nineteen or twenty, quite handsome. “Excuse me miss, this may sound really straightforward and all but, you’re really pretty, and I was wondering if I could get your number?” You blushed a bit and looked away. You were a bit weary, but decided anyways. “I-I don’t know... I guess so. You seem nice. It’s-“

“Hey man, you gotta hobby of stealin’ other people’s things?” A gloved band came in contact with your shoulder, and a large shadow cast over you and the man in front of you. The man gasped in amazement at seeing the number two pro hero standing before him, it would’ve been a better experience if Hawks wasn’t threatening him with his looks and smart-ass remarks. “Huh? Oh! S-Sorry I didn’t-“ Hawks rudely interrupted the man, his gloved hand squeezing harder. His smile was obviously forced, and his feathers were starting to fluff up every second that past he stood in front of this guy. “Eh don’t worry about, you didn’ know. Now that ya do, don’t come near her again, Kay?”

And in the blink of an eye, Hawks pulled you away and out of the fast food restaurant. He aggressively pulled out the food and shoved yours against your chest, unwrapping his quickly and munching on it. “What the hell Hawks?! That was a bit much! He was being nice! It’s not like we’re dating or anything...” You trailed off, watching his wings twitch and fluff. You had noticed his strange behavior for a couple days now. His feathers would fluff up every now and again —you had no idea why— especially near men. And he would always make these weird sounds whenever the two of you got close. “You should be thankin’ me chicken wing. I just saved you from a world of heartbreak.”

“That’s not your place to decide, Hawks. I don’t intervene when women ask for your phone number.” You crossed yours arms and turned your nose up at his childish behavior. He didn’t respond, finishing his breakfast and throwing away his trash in a nearby can. His hands slipping back into his pockets, displaying that he was closing himself off from you now. Of course, you began to become irritated at his lack of voice, but you decided to let it go and not pressure him further. You unwrapped your food and took a bite of the savory meal. “You’ve been acting weird lately ya know? I’m getting worried...”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m fine.” Oh how you hated his emotionless voice, so bland and robotic, it honestly pained you. His eyes were sharp, quick to notice your saddened expression. Hawks sighed heavily and stuck his bottom lip out, wrapping his arm around your arms and pulling you close to him. “I’m one of the top five pros, you don’ gotta worry about me, chicken wing. Cheer up.” You smiled and shoved him off, only a bit happy his cocky and arrogant behavior had returned. The Hawks you knew and cherished. “You know, I hate you sometimes, but I can’t help but love you at the same time.”

“Who doesn’t love me? The sexiest bird-man around.” He smirked and gave you a flirtatious look, a small sound bubbling from his throat similar to a whistle. You returned his smirk with a teasing smile. You were almost immune to his flirty charm, key-word; almost. Hawks was definitely an attractive man. Those piercing eyes with dark markings around them, only making the color pop and glow. His messy hair swept back and disheveled. Let’s not forget about those bushy eyebrows of his, they almost look like feathers from his wings, only a beautiful blonde color just like his hair. You could probably do without his egotistical attitude and vulgar tongue, but that was still all part of his charm. “Move!”

You were surprised by Hawks suddenly grabbing you and jerking you out of the way of an attack from a villain. You were right there in his chest, feeling his warmth, hearing the harsh thumping of his heart at the thought of almost losing you. Before he had a chance to say what he wanted. “Well there goes our leisurely patrol. And more paper work on our desks.” Hawks grunted in annoyance and took to the air. You finally regained your composure and got into your fighting stance. “Ready to kick some ass Hawks?! Whoever lands the final blow is treated to lunch!”

“Heh, you don’t stand a chance! Show me whatcha got!”

—

“Thanks Edgeshot... I totally owe you one.” You scratched the back of your neck with an awkward smile as you stood in front of the current number four hero. While Hawks was on the assault, eager to show off and boost his already high ego, you tried to get a sneak attack in, but the villain noticed you. They were about to attack you, before Edgeshot came and got you out of the way. Hawks didn’t take this too well. He became angry immediately and finished off the villain in a matter of seconds. “No thanks necessary, (H/N). I was just doing my job.” You hated being in debt to someone more than anything, so you quickly threw out an offer.

“Please! Let me take you out for drinks! Honestly! I’ve gotta do something! I-“ Suddenly a large shadow cast over you for the second time that day. You turned around and shrunk down noticing Hawks’ wings spread wide, fluffed to the brim and shaking in anger and jealousy. His face was red and his eyes were narrowed at Edgeshot. He was angry at himself for not being able to protect you himself, and at Edgeshot for rescuing you and holding you close. That was supposed to be him. “H-Hawks? What’s wron-“ Edgeshot was the one who answered your main question earlier before Hawks could even get another word out. The answer shocked you to your core, finally understanding why he was acting so weird.

“He’s showing his dominance, and in a public place no less, how careless.” You looked at the ninja hero confused before you turned your attention back to Hawks. Dominance? His wings were such a beautiful vibrant color now. A shade of red you’d never seen before on him. A sudden flash captured your eyes, taking your attention away from his beautiful wings. The media was eating this up. Soon it would reach the Hero Public Safety Commission and the president would not like this one bit. “I’m sorry, (Y/N). But I’m impatient, I can’t wait any longer.” Your eyes widened as your attention was fully back on Hawks now. You opened your mouth about to ask what he meant, but something was preventing you from doing so.

Hawks’ lips were firmly placed upon your own, his bright red rings wrapping around the both of you to shield you from any watchful eyes wanting to take a peek at you. His lips were soft, his hands finding themselves on your waist, pulling you flush against his body. You were shocked, your eyes wide, heart hammering wildly out of your chest at the sudden action. Slowly, you began to kiss him back, falling victim to his charm and passionate ways. He was quickly heating up the kiss, but you placed your hands on his chest firmly, pushing him away just enough to separate your lips. He was chasing your lips, desperate to get another kiss. You sent him a silencing glare and he smiled nervously, unsure of what you were thinking.

“Uh... oops?”

——

“Breaking News! Pro-Hero Hawks was seen acting quite strange this morning. We have multiple eye witness accounts saying his behavior was aggressive in sorts. Many people claim after the latest villain attack, Hawks confronted Pro-Hero Edgeshot! What an intimidating display by one of the most top ranked heroes! We’re not sure on the full details, stay tuned for more on the story later.” The whole time the video played the camera was zoomed in on Hawks. His vibrant wings spread dominantly, visibly fluffed and shaken up. It was incredibly lucky they didn’t catch you both kissing —even though his wings were covering you both. You slid your phone in your pocket and sighed heavily, patiently waiting outside the presidents door, ready to see Hawks and talk to him about what had happened.

You attempted to talk to Mirko but... You couldn’t really understand what she was talking about, especially through all the panting. ‘Oh baby please, come to my place, I promise we’ll have fun okay? Forget about that birdbrain! Come to me. We can eat! Have dessert first and then a full course meal! And another, and another, a-and another~! Until I’m full and satisfied! Please!’ You sadly had to decline. Being treated to multiple full course meals and desserts was nice and all, but you really needed to talk to Hawks. A click of the door was heard, and you brought yourself off the hard painted walls to see Hawks walking out with a pout and a frown. He hated being scolded, he was a grown ass man with hormones. Of course he was going to lose it eventually.

“H-Hawks...!”

He immediately jerked his head up hearing his name, plastering on a cheeky smile before coming up to you. “What’s up chicken wing, you came to check on me huh?” Sometimes you wanted to slap the smugness out of him, but sadly, it would probably grow knowing him. You honestly nodded and rose your hand to tell him to follow you. He did as you told quietly, his hands in his pockets, unsure of what you were even going to say. His feathers could faintly sense your thundering heart, how it hammered against your rib cage every step you took towards the door. “It’s... about what happened this morning.”

“...I see.” It was unusual for him to be so speechless in a conversation. He loved to talk. You rubbed your arm sheepishly and made your way out the doors with him. You walked for a bit, until you reached the agency you worked at. Well, this was it. “Hawks I...” you began, but couldn’t bring yourself to confess to him. You’d denied your feelings for years, pushing them aside to hold onto your friendship. You didn’t think you were good enough for him. He needed someone stronger, someone better. “Ah... never mind, I forgot what I was going to say. See you to-“ You were silenced once his gloved hands found your arms softly, and his lips met yours once again to share in a passionate kiss. You couldn’t help but melt into his touch, his warm comforting touch, never wanting to leave.

“Im... sorry for the way I acted today.” He spoke slowly, expression the sincerity behind his apology. Your eyes widened watching Hawks get down on one knee and begin to kiss your knuckles one by one. “I couldn’t help myself... seein’ you... with other guys, just thinkin’ about it makes my blood boil...” He stands back up again, spreading his large wings, their vibrant color remained, accompanied by soft whistling and cooing from your winged friend. His hand grabbed your chin, running his thumb gently over your bottom lip. “I’ve been tryin’ to impress you for weeks... drove out all my competition, so in the end you’d only pick me.”

It was all starting to make sense now.

“Spring is mating season for birds like me... so everything I’ve been doin’ is to get you to choose me to be your mate. I want you to be my dove. I want you to be mine.” Everything finally connected now. Even why Mirko sounded so weird on the phone earlier when you called to ask about what was happening. Your face flushed in embarrassment at this newfound revelation. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner... I... feel horrible for what I said earlier! Your jealous behavior... your weird noise making meant to impress me but I insulted it!” Hawks covered his mouth and started to laugh. You glared at him, trying to be serious and apologize the right way. And he was just sitting there laughing at you! “Oh man, sorry chicken wing, but I insult you, all the fuckin’ time, and its fun. Watchin’ you get all flustered and angry, I live for it. You shouldn’ feel bad at all to get a couple jabs at me.”

“Shut up you dumbass. Let me speak...” A pout spread across his face and he stared intensely at you, his beautiful golden eyes shaking you up to your core. You rubbed your arm a bit embarrassed, and averted your gaze to the ground. “Considering... everything you’ve just told me. I need to clarify and face my feelings.” His eyes widened and his mouth hung slightly agape, his wings flapping gently in anxiousness. You smiled and pulled him close by the collar of his jacket, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, before pulling away quickly not get him riled up again. “It’s safe to say I only see you, Hawks. And you don’t have to worry about me picking anyone else. You’re my pretty bird. You always have been.”

He sighed in relief and smirked smugly. “I knew you were in love with me, dove. I’m just too irresistible, even for you~”

“Don’t make me change my mind.”

[hp-nextgen-fest]

2020 HP Next Gen Fest Anonymous Masterlist

Here is the complete Anonymous Masterlist for the 2020 @hp-nextgen-fest! Reveals will be going up next Monday on November 30, so there is still plenty of time to make your way through any entries you might have missed. Don't forget to leave some comments on these amazing creations to let the authors and artists know how much you've enjoyed their hard work! :D

ART

AcciDental Magic [Rose, Hugo, & Grandparents | General] Hermione and Ron are called away for a case and left without their usual child-minder when Molly falls ill. Hermione’s parents step up to keep Hugo and Rose, in spite of Hermione’s warning that the two little ones have some big issues with accidental magic. The story is told comic book style, with illustrations and voice bubbles.

Woke up married! [James Sirius/Teddy | General] They get well and truly bladdered at Albus's stag do and wake up in bed together with matching wedding bands...

Sunday Practice [James Sirius/Teddy | General] Teddy thought that morning practice on Sunday was going to be something he would soon regret, but things may turn more interesting than expected.

Introduction [Albus, Severus, & Albus Severus | General] Albus Severus Potter gets to know the men he's named for by asking them about the experiences, memories, and motives that shaped their lives.

Eyecandy [James Sirius/Teddy | General] After months of extensive Auror training, Teddy comes with the Potters to the beach. James. Cannot. Stop. Staring. At. Teddy. Shirtless.

FIC

We Keep Loving Anyway [Albus Severus/Scorpius | Explicit | 7.1k] After Albus finds out Scorpius is part vampire he can’t stop thinking about being bitten. He can’t stop thinking about Scorpius in general, but that’s been the case since he was fifteen. At least, when it comes to Scorpius he’s used to not getting what he wants. He’s happy with what he has, or at least, comfortable. That is until he accidentally asks for it, then it all starts to change.

The perks of Veritaserum [James Sirius/Teddy | Explicit | 5.1k] James drank a long-lasting version of Veritaserum and is miserable and Teddy is having the time of his life. That is, until they’re both having the time of their lives.

Thunderstruck [Charlie/Teddy | Explicit | 2.6k] There’s not a lot for dragon tamers to do when stuck inside during a storm, but looking at this particular new recruit―well, Charlie can’t help but think of a few ways they could pass the time.

Hair Today, Hair Tomorrow [Albus Severus/Scorpius | Mature | 1.7k] Away on a book tour Albus Severus Malfoy grows a very creepy mustache, much to the horror of his still at home husband Scorpius Malfoy.

Mission in Nairn [Draco/Lily Luna | Explicit | 7k] Lily Luna Potter is paired with Draco Malfoy for her first Auror Mission. On their last night, she decides to act on the lingering tension that had been building up between them.

No Other Alpha But You [Albus Severus/James Sirius | Explicit | 7.1k] Scorpius Malfoy has applied to be Albus' heat partner. There's no way James is letting that happen.

The Scorpion King [Albus Severus/Scorpius | Explicit | 3.8k] Scorpius Malfoy, AKA the Scorpion King, has ruled Britain ever since his father turned his sights to conquering Europe. With his right-hand man and most trusted advisor, Albus Potter, Scorpius has a life of elegance and power. But he's had enough of the beautiful women that usually grace his bed. Scorpius has decided he wants something else in bed. Something more. Scorpius Malfoy wants Albus Potter.

Islands of the Upper Air [Lily Luna/Luna | General | 1.5k] Lily Luna has never liked her namesake, or her strange and sometimes absurd way of looking at the world. But a weekend full of ancient rituals and mountain forests is an eye opener, in more ways than one.

Expecto Patronum!! [James Sirius/Teddy | Mature | 45.7k] James Potter had always known exactly what he wanted; to open a pub of his own, maybe travel the world, and live a simple life with the only man he’d ever loved. For years he waited, quietly determined to help Teddy see what could be between them. But just when everything he’d ever dreamed of was finally within his reach, it was ripped away in an instant. With Teddy missing, and presumed dead, James is left to pick up the pieces. John has no idea what he wants. He doesn’t even know who he is. But when he hears a strikingly familiar voice – on an otherwise ordinary day – he sets out to discover everything he can about the man that occupies his dreams. And Harry, well, Harry just wants to put his failures behind him. Until a series of unexpected events forces him to reexamine a case that he’d given up on solving. With the help of an unexpected ally, he just might find the answers he’s been looking for.

lily's potter [Lily Luna/Lysander & Lily Luna/Draco | Mature | 8.3k] "But what if I keep it? What’s the contingency plan there?” She took a seat next to Lily. She spoke slowly, as if she was thinking about it for the first time, too. “Well, I mean, you keep your baby. You raise it. You love it. It goes on to do wonderful things because it’s a Potter.” Lily snorted. “It’s a Potter?” “Why not? I mean it’s just as much you as whoever is the father. Why shouldn’t it be a Potter first?”

Snaked a Claim [Albus Severus/Scorpius | Teen | 1.6k] Everyone knew Albus was gay from age five when he would dramatically swoon every time Goncalo Flores the Quidditch player was mentioned. Twenty years later and Harry still tells the tale - much to Al’s embarrassment.

And I Fell Heavy (Into Your Arms) [James Sirius/Teddy | Explicit | 9.1k] When James Sirius Potter travels to America for three weeks, the turquoise-haired Healer Teddy Lupin misses his boyfriend very much indeed. Luckily, Teddy has (sexy) floo calls, charmed obsidian pendants and hastily made chastity promises to keep him busy. Based on the following prompt: Absence makes the heart grow fonder... Right? Smutty phone!sex? Longing letters? All up to you!

Dirty Duelling [Albus Severus/Draco | Explicit | 6.1k] Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want (Or — fucked up Dirty Dancing with wand fights)

Albus’ Private Lesson of Sex Education [Albus Severus/James Sirius/Teddy | Explicit | 4.5k] Albus has some doubts about sex. Luckily he has an older brother, who can initiate him. How does this lesson go? James will be the teacher, Albus his good and obedient student and Teddy will be more than happy to serve them as a learning tool. In which a delicious Teddy sandwich is served.

Four Reasons [James Sirius/Teddy | General | 8.1k] There were a couple of things James should've considered more seriously before coming back to work at Hogwarts as the new Flying Instructor. His dad being the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor there, for one. The fact that he hadn't really flown since a career-ending injury had put an abrupt end to his Quidditch fame two years ago, for another. His ridiculous, teenage crush on Teddy Lupin, his friend and Hogwarts' newest Charms professor, perhaps most of all.

An Interlude [Lavender/Victoire | Explicit | 4.9k] Victoire is supposed to be chasing a serial killer, not shagging her uncle’s dead ex-girlfriend.

Mint & Apples [Harry/Teddy | Explicit | 4.3k] Teddy Lupin's not-quite-wolf has chosen Harry Potter as his mate, that's all. He hasn't got a crush on his best friend's father, really. He also definitely isn't obsessed with Harry Potter's scent.

This is Love [Albus Severus/Scorpius | Explicit | 24.8k] Most of Albus’s bad life decisions can be summed up in a word: James. When he got a shitty tattoo in the Fifth Year—done by some bloke in a dirty flat—well, that was James’s idea. When he got picked up by Aurors for doing hallucinogens—James was the one who’d convinced him to do them at a party. That time they stole the flying motorbike Dad gave to Teddy—James was the one who insisted it was a rite of passage to drive it over London at dawn. Neither Dad nor Teddy was impressed with that explanation. Now, here Albus is living another bad choice that was born of James’s influence.

The Balance Between Studying and Relaxing [Rose/Teddy | Explicit | 3.7k] Rose has been studying non-stop for her upcoming barrister exam. With Hermione attending Hugo’s Quidditch trials for moral support and Ron away on business, there’s only one person available to keep an eye on her. And Teddy is only too happy to take the role.

The last ones to know [Albus Severus/Scorpius | General | 5.2k] Albus and Scorpius have a very close relationship. Everyone can see it. Perhaps they are the last ones to know jus how close they are.

You've Got A Second Chance (You Could Go Home) [James Sirius/Teddy | Teen | 16k] “What about James?” James, dear Merlin, not James, not again. His boy, his son, the brightest star in the constellation of Harry’s patchwork family, not him. “I think he’s relapsed.” – They tried this when James was nineteen and Teddy was twenty five. It crashed and burned. Teddy ran away to Finland and James... well Teddy's about to find out what happened to James, now that he's back two years later.

Falling for You [James Sirius/Scorpius | General | 1.2k] Scorpius didn't care about Quidditch until he saw James Sirius on a broom.

Heart-Shaped Ottoman [Draco/Teddy | Explicit | 6.3k] Draco has had interns before, but none so bothersome as Teddy Lupin.

Living With Our Eyes Half Open [James Sirius & Scorpius | Teen | 5.5k] James didn’t mean to get his brother-in-law kidnapped alongside him that morning, but that is definitely what happened.

Faim [Albus Severus/Scorpius | Explicit | 9.6k] "So, this is the city of love!" Scorpius declared, adjusting the straps on his backpack. Albus wrinkled his nose. "City of pigeons, more like," he corrected, stepping around another fat, grey bird Or: Scorbus go to France.

Unexpected [Lily Luna/Pansy | Explicit | 1.2k] Draco and Harry's engagement party brings about an unexpected, but not unwelcome, event.

Remember to Forget [Albus Severus/James Sirius | Mature| 17.5k] The moment they kissed, James and Albus knew that they'd never be able to live without this -- too in love to walk away. Years later, and well into adulthood, the possible repercussions of their relationship feel very real and very scary. Without the strength to break it off, they're left with a single solution: a company that specializes in erasing and altering memories. Now the only thing left to do, is to say goodbye.

[dramaphan]

Dan and Phil Stereo Show, A Live Reaction by Me, Dramaphan

•Their avatars staring blank faced at me through my tv is so scary holy shit

•We are one failed attempt in, doing great guys

•Their mouths moving at the same time because they’re literally sat next to each other is killing me jesus

•”Content warning for Dan, his mouth is filled with soil” Phil it’s an 18+ app you can say fuck

•Various verbs being used in the penis talk. Quack. Squeeze. Considering turning this off

•Dan is really emphasizing the term “Phans” he’s said it three times and I’m not comfortable

•God y’all weren’t lying about the echo

•I feel like I’m having a stroke holy shit what are they saying

•I literally could not tell you what they’re talking about right now I think Dan said something about dunking his balls in the bath

•Dan blatantly brushing off all the “I missed you” messages shut up you dickhead

•Dan what the fuck is that gremlin impersonation STOP

•”We’re having a little bit of echo” THANKS FOR NOTICING KING MY EARS ARE BLEEDING

•”hopefully that’s better” it’s worse

•Every time someone asks Dan’s opinion on a Phil look he literally just says “if you had a different personality it would work” Jesus Christ he’s like a talking doll

•Now they’re both speaking through Phil’s giant head. Fellas, you could have sat in different rooms

•Dan is really pushing this foamy bath imagery I’m going to steal his teeth

•”we’re both coming out of Phil’s mouth now” he can’t help himself he just can’t

•I talk a lot of shit about Dan but if it weren’t for him, I would never know that Phil has seen a porno with the tesco delivery man in it. Thanks Dan. Cheers for that.

•Dan thinks a 20/20 vision joke is “disgusting humour” Dan you just made several jokes in a row about getting your balls out in the bath with Phil shut up

•”lick me! Caress me!!” I’m gonna kill him I’m going to do it

•Phil literally choking up about his parents and then being like “oh well people have it worse” sir please you’re gonna make me weep

•Okay I just watched through the whole house part and I’m 🥺 no articulate thoughts just 🥺

•House features include one green wall and one desk wow the insight

•”Do you think pigeons are smart enough to have emotional bonds” has the same energy as that one video of the guys on the bunk beds that are like “do you think pigeons have feelings” “I’m gonna give you one last chance to shut the fuck up”

•Phil dove headfirst into the dog talk and then took it nowhere uh

•”I have sexy Irish Siri on my phone but you’ve chosen Australian for the house” huh??? Are they in the house rn or do they just have a fuckin Alexa or something what did that mean

•Oh we’re talking about the dog again

•”the fish” SAY HIS NAME TELL ME HOW HE IS

•OH WE TALKING GAMING CHANNEL NOW??? YOU FINALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT NOW THAT I’M OVER IT YOU FUCKERS????

•Phil really said “hey Dan communicate with your fucking audience” and Dan said “instead, I will throw a tantrum”

•So he stepped away from YouTube to do some soul searching great great cool would have been so cool to know that two years ago but hey thanks for telling us now

•The new topic is “what has Dan been doing” wow he really said alright thanks for the communication now we’re going to bully you good love that

•They spent two hours on that fucking Instagram photo and at no point did they think, hey, what if you put on anything except these tighty whities

•OH the two bathrooms thing is already currently happening I thought that was part of the new house thing but no that’s been going on and you know what that makes it even funnier

•oh we’re talking about the gaming channel past tense now alright cool thanks

•Oh so we’re still in the “we haven’t decided what we’re doing” limbo? Maybe we’ll return to it? No you won’t.

•So Phil thought Dan was gonna put his buttcheeks in a magazine and Dan was also fully willing to do that Jesus fucking Christ I’m gonna get that prediction right aren’t I

•What kind of YouTube content are you not allowed to talk about, Dan??? 🤔 Surely if it was just regular videos on your channel you could give some hints??? I’m so right about his channel plans being exclusively behind a paywall I just know it

•So Phil is working on some kind of interactive show, which I think we knew already so I’m not updating the fucking list oh my god I’m not doing it. Can’t figure out if he’s been pitching it to like, tv networks or to YouTube

•Something about them cutting each other’s hair is really making me 🥺

•”it’s not suitable for YouTube” hey Phil??? What the fuck is that supposed to mean???

•book talk time

•”you have no idea how annoying I’m gonna be in April right before this comes out” no don’t worry I’m aware

•So it’s not a memoir, and it’s not a self help book, it’s both? Maybe? Whatever I’m still not buying it

•Phil has read the book. So I assume the book is? Done? Didn’t he just the fuck start writing it how is it done

•”it’s full of juicy tea about me” oh god one fear

•So you plan to trick us into becoming happier and healthier people what the fuck is this book about

•”it can help every single person watching this” actually I’m going to become more unstable on purpose

•”our Siri stopped listening to Dan” bitch I don’t blame her

•Phil hates mushrooms and that’s valid

•whoever asked them for a tiktok knows I’m trying to predict tiktok Phil

•Dan’s absolute panic at the bdsm story is never not going to kill me

•”what, you don’t like poppers?” Oh my fucking god end my life

•”Phil is tapping my leg” why is that so funny Dan is trying to start beef and Phil is just fuckin taptaptaptaptaptaptap

•Also who’s the band I bet it’s fob

•”they’ve made water taste like farts” okay Dan really tickled my inner 12 year old with that joke he gets one funny point

Okay final thoughts: they sure can make me have Feelings when they talk about their general life plans but boy no amount of feelings can overpower the way Dan makes my fucking teeth itch. Very happy for them, very soft and mushy about this house concept, starting to learn that maybe I just don’t enjoy consuming Dan content anymore

[natromanxoff]

Queen live at Sportorium in Miami, FL, USA - February 19, 1977

(x)

The band had a week off after the Philadelphia show. The crew hauled the band's equipment through some brutally bad weather, arriving in Miami a few days prior to the show. It was at this venue where the Tie Your Mother Down video, directed by Bruce Gowers, was filmed. Bruce also directed Bohemian Rhapsody, You're My Best Friend, and Somebody To Love for Queen, as well as Rod Stewart's "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?" and John Mellencamp's (then John Cougar) "Jack And Diane." Other notable credits for him include the Eddie Murphy movie "Delirious," Woodstock 1994, Live 8, Live Earth, and American Idol.

Dave Pruitt, a member of the lighting crew, recalls getting "carried away with various powders used in the pyro." Four bars into the song, the button to activate the pyro was pushed, turning the stage into a disaster area. Roger, particularly, wasn't too fond of the crew after this, as he was blown off his drum stool and his drum kit was scattered all over the stage. "Pigeon crap, dust, dirt and who knows what else fell out of the ceiling for many minutes," recalls Dave.

A picture was taken during the video shoot by the head of the Queen crew, Peter "Ratty" Hince, and it can be seen on his website.

The photos seen above were taken by Brian's guitar tech Brian Spencer. The concert pic shows Brian with a Les Paul as a spare (an empty guitar stand is seen on the bottom of the photo).

[stainedglassgardens]

Watched in May

A Russian Youth (Мальчик русский) Sicario Fedora LoveTrue The Platform Water Lilies (Naissance des pieuvres) The Assistant The Half of It Tomboy The Last Man on Earth Beanpole (Дылда) Mommy The Fall Girlhood (Bande de filles) Carnival of Souls Marguerite & Julien Portrait of a Lady on Fire (Portrait de la jeune fille en feu) This Magnificent Cake! (Ce Magnifique Gâteau!) Romantic Comedy Transnistra Eraserhhead The Farewell Emma. Late Night Charlie's Angels Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) The Ancestors Came Suicide by Sunlight Anthropocene: The Human Epoch A Perfect 14 Westwood: Punk, Icon, Activist Free Radicals Aniara Vivarium La Pointe-Courte Diary of a Pregnant Woman (L'Opéra-Mouffe) Salut les Cubains Uncle Yanco (Oncle Yanco) GUO4 Atlantiques Sitara: Let Girls Dream Lions Love (Lions Love... And Lies) Živan Makes a Punk Festival (Živan pravi pank festival) Plastic and Glass The So-Called Caryatids (Les Dites Cariatides) The Octopus (La Pieuvre) Hyas and Stenorhynchus (Hyas et sténorinques, crustacés marins) Sea Urchins (Les Oursins) Bernard-L'Hermite (Bernard-l'Ermite) The Sea Horse (L'Hippocampe ou "cheval marin") Voyage to the Sky (Voyage dans le ciel) Le Vampire Freshwater Assassins (Assassins d'eau douce) How Some Jellyfish Are Born (Comment naissent des méduses) Shrimp Stories (Histoires de crevettes) The Love Life of the Octopus (Les Amours de la pieuvre) Acera, or The Witches' Dance (Acera, ou le Bal des Sorcières) Pigeons of the Square (Les Pigeons du square) The Slumber Party Massacre Jane B. par Agnès V. The Cranes Are Flying (Летят журавли) Crystal Swan (Хрусталь) Take Me Somewhere Nice Microhabitat ( 소공녀) The Unforeseen

Did not finish

Swiss Army Man (Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert, 2016) Braid (Mitzi Peirone, 2018) A Secret Love (Chris Bolan, 2020) Calder's 1927 Great Circus (Le Grand Cirque Calder 1927, Jean Painlevé, 1955)

Did not like

Sicario (Denis Villeneuve, 2015) The Platform (Galder Gaztelu-Urrutia, 2019) The Half of It (Alice Wu, 2020) Sitara: Let Girls Dream (Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy, 2019)

I could take them or leave them

Fedora (Billy Wilder, 1978) LoveTrue (Alma Har'el, 2016) This Magnificent Cake! (Ce Magnifique Gâteau!, Emma De Swaef & Marc James Roels, 2018) Romantic Comedy (Elizabeth Sankey, 2019) Eraserhhead (David Lynch, 1977) Late Night (Nisha Ganatra, 2019) Charlie's Angels (Elizabeth Banks, 2019) Free Radicals (Len Lye, 1958) Aniara (Pella Kågerman and Hugo Lilja, 2018) Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (Cathy Yan, 2020) The Ancestors Came (Cecile Emeke, 2017) GUO4 (Peter Strickland, 2019) Živan Makes a Punk Festival (Živan pravi pank festival, Ognjen Glavonić, 2014) The Unforeseen (Laura Dunn, 2007)

Films I enjoyed

A Russian Youth (Мальчик русский, Alexander Zolotukhin, 2019): Went into this with the single aim of improving my Russian. Loved the back-and-forth between “the story” and the orchestra playing the score to said story. The “story” itself is also tragically moving

Water Lilies (Naissance des pieuvres), Tomboy, Girlhood (Bande de filles) and Portrait of a Lady on Fire (Portrait de la jeune fille en feu) (Céline Sciamma, 2007, 2011, 2014, 2019): I saw all four of Céline Sciamma’s films practically in a row! I liked all of them, don’t think I prefer one over another. And I recognise she’s a talented filmmaker, even though she’ll probably never be a favourite

The Last Man on Earth (Ubaldo Ragona and Sidney Salkow, 1964): A good... vampire-zombie film... that is worth sticking with even though you might find it too ordinary at first

Beanpole (Дылда, Kantemir Balagov, 2019): This story is fucked up! I liked it up to a certain extent, but I suspect it was mainly because of the historical and geographical setting. If you like post-WW2 Russia and this is the film for you

Mommy (Xavier Dolan, 2014): The portrayal of the titular mother hit a bit too close to home... This was my first Xavier Dolan film and I was not disappointed. Only drawback: Céline Dion’s song “On ne change pas” has been stuck in my head ever since

The Fall (Jonathan Glazer, 2020): It was... good? From the publicity it received on Mubi, I thought this was going to be a feature film, so yeah, I was disappointed, I loved Sexy Beast and Under the Skin so much

The Farewell (Lulu Wang, 2019): I really liked it, I think this didn’t get nearly enough praise -- but I was expecting something life-changing when I “only” found this very good

Emma. (Autumn de Wilde, 2020): This adaptation felt like Autumn de Wilde really, really wanted her film to be shown in as many classrooms as possible. It was enjoyable! I liked her additions to the book, and I appreciate the challenge she took up

Suicide by Sunlight (Nikyatu Jusu, 2019): A good short vampire film about Black vampires who are protected from daylight by their melanin

Anthropocene: The Human Epoch (Edward Burtynsky, Jennifer Baichwal, Nicholas de Pencier, 2018): Stunning visuals, sobering message. Somewhere between Koyaanisqatsi and Unser Täglich Brot in tone

A Perfect 14 (Giovanna Morales Vargas, 2018): This, by necessity, doesn’t cover everything on the subject of plus-size models, and practically speaking I didn’t learn anything -- but it’s well-made, and the personal stories of the main interviewees make a good, contrasted portrait

Westwood: Punk, Icon, Activist (Lorna Tucker, 2018): I came out of this feeling as if Vivienne Westwood wasn’t that interesting of a person, which I’m sure wasn’t the director’s intention... still, it was informative enough

Plastic and Glass (Tessa Joosse, 2009): A short somewhat-documentary about a choir in a recycling facility. Good music

The Slumber Party Massacre (Amy Holden Jones, 1982): Finally saw this! Very surprised to learn this was written by Rita Mae Brown. It was good as far as slashers go and of course, it is nice to watch something from that era that is not appallingly sexist

The Cranes Are Flying (Летят журавли, Mikhail Kalatozov, 1957): I guess I had to read about this afterwards in order to see how unusual it was for the time it was made. While I watched it I enjoyed the way it was filmed but the story left me indifferent, and I thought it lacked subtlety

Crystal Swan (Хрусталь, Darya Zhuk, 2018): A very aesthetically pleasing story set in 1990s Belarus, about a young woman who wants to emigrate to Chicago for the love of house music... the story will keep taking you unexpected places from there. The costumes are perfect, the soundtrack is interesting. It does feel a little as if it were made for export, and I thought it relied quite heavily on stereotypes about Slavs

Take Me Somewhere Nice (Ena Sendijarević, 2019): This coming-of-age road movie about a Bosnian girl who was raised in the Netherlands and comes back to visit her father in hospital has everything... drugs, violence, death, even cute dogs. The pastel palette makes it very satisfying

Microhabitat ( 소공녀, Jeon Go-woon, 2017): This film about a woman with a minimum-wage job who would rather leave her flat than quit smoking and drinking whisky just spoke to me

La Pointe-Courte, Diary of a Pregnant Woman (L'Opéra-Mouffe), Salut les Cubains, Uncle Yanco (Oncle Yanco), Lions Love (Lions Love... And Lies), The So-Called Caryatids (Les Dites Cariatides), Jane B. par Agnès V. (Agnès Varda, 1955, 1958, 1964, 1967, 1969, 1984, 1988): I decided to watch all of Agnès Varda’s films that are on Mubi France and that I haven’t seen already, in chronological order. This feels a bit like a chore sometimes, but I find it rewarding. It’s strange to think that even a few years ago hers was a name I’d heard a few times but that didn’t mean anything to me. And I know I can be merciless when it comes to French cinema. Anyway... I like what I’ve seen so far (the above plus Cléo and Vagabond), I like that someone can just pick up her film camera and make a short about caryatids... generally speaking I like Varda’s approach to film that makes it seem more accessible to people like me. I don’t think all of her films are particularly good, but I like that she made all of them. I never did particularly like Cléo, and I didn’t particularly like La Pointe-Courte in spite of the fact that it was shot very close to where I’m from. Of the above, my fave was probably Lions Love, even though (or because?) it doesn’t very much feel like a Varda film. Uncle Yanco is a close second. I’ve got three feature films left now

Films I loved

The Assistant (Kitty Green, 2019): Unfortunately enough, this reminded me of an internship I did a few years ago... I found it uncomfortably realistic, and thus very good. Julia Garner is perfect, as usual

Carnival of Souls (Herk Harvey, 1962): I watched this because it is a classic, expecting it to be over-the-top and not nearly as scary as I found it... a very good surprise

Marguerite & Julien (Valérie Donzelli, 2015): It’s hard to talk about this in a way that will make people want to see it without making me sound like a huge weirdo but here goes. It’s a story about a brother and sister who are madly in love with each other. It takes place in a fantasy past and is told like a fairytale. If you think it’s impossible to turn this premise into a good film please watch this

Transnistra (Anna Eborn, 2019): With this film I discovered the existence of the tiny unrecognised state named Transnistria... I also discovered Alla Pugacheva, who is part of a great nostalgic Russian soundtrack with Kino amongst others. The story is one of those documentaries about youth that punches you right in the gut. Definitely recommended

Vivarium (Lorcan Finnegan, 2019): This is the type of what, for lack of a better term, I call “minimal science fiction” that I really enjoy. I’ve thought about it a lot since then. I don’t know why people generally didn’t seem to like it. I thought the premise was terrifying and nightmarish, and the actual film effectively claustrophobic. Plu:s Imogen Poots

Atlantiques (Mati Diop, 2009): This is the short, not the feature film of the same name. I’ve heard a lot about Mati Diop and I saw this the second it became available on Mubi France -- and I didn’t regret it. Can’t wait to see Atlantiques, long form

The Octopus (La Pieuvre), Hyas and Stenorhynchus (Hyas et sténorinques, crustacés marins), Sea Urchins (Les Oursins), Bernard-L'Hermite (Bernard-l'Ermite), The Sea Horse (L'Hippocampe ou "cheval marin"), Voyage to the Sky (Voyage dans le ciel), Le Vampire, Freshwater Assassins (Assassins d'eau douce), How Some Jellyfish Are Born (Comment naissent des méduses), Shrimp Stories (Histoires de crevettes), The Love Life of the Octopus (Les Amours de la pieuvre), Acera, or The Witches' Dance (Acera, ou le Bal des Sorcières), Pigeons of the Square (Les Pigeons du square) (Jean Painlevé, 1928, 1929, 1929, 1930, 1934, 1937, 1945, 1947; Jean Painlevé and Geneviève Hamon, 1960, 1964, 1965, 1972; Jean Painlevé, 1982): I didn’t know who Jean Painlevé was before I decided to watch The Octopus. As it turns out, I am a sucker for well-made nature documentaries, and since all of these are short films, I ended up watching them all, in order of release, over the course of one afternoon. It’s a little bit crazy that these were getting made as early as the 1920s, and I can’t imagine what it would have been like to see them in theatres nearly a hundred years ago. Anyway these are all good, although I wasn’t expecting the vivisection that seems to have been par for the course in the early days

*

Yes, I really did watch 65 films in May. It becomes a little less impressive considering a fair amount of those were shorts, but still. Unemployment!

I have access to Outbuster now in addition to Mubi and Netflix, this time through my boyfriend’s account. It’s a French thing I think, and very cheap, but I’ve only just tried it with Microhabitat. Of course it was the Mubi Library thing that just completely sent me over the edge, and I want to watch all the things.

In June I hope to finish Agnès Varda’s filmography on Mubi and maybe watch some more Tarkovsky!